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I understand how Daryl Gray felt. Gray was
13-year-old straight A student when he struck back at another
student who had terrorized him for two years. But it was Gray,
not the bully who teachers said had tormented Gray and others
for months, who paid the price. Gray was sentenced in May
2004 by a Georgia juvenile court judge to 90 days probation
and had to pay $332 in restitution to his victim. The bully
received no punishment. I, too, am a straight A student who
never gets into trouble. When I was in 6th grade I was physically
injured by a student who was bullying me. I was afraid to
tell anyone that I had been hurt. Finally, I showed the injury
to my mom, a teacher at our middle school. The school resource
officer took pictures of my injury and a statement from me.
The student received 2 ½ days of in-school suspension.
The school could not justify more time out of the classroom
because the student was in special education. My parents thought
about pressing charges, but one of the student’s teachers
begged my mother to give the child another chance because
he did not really understand what he was doing.
The student continued teasing and tormenting
me and others for almost a year. Many times I felt like striking
back. Students, and even teachers, told me I should just hit
him to show him I wasn’t going to take the abuse any
more. My parents were worried about me and sought help from
counselors. They knew it was not in my character to fight
back physically. So I just took the abuse. The counselors
told me to understand that the bully was using teasing and
aggression to make me feel inferior, but that I should not
feel inferior. Again I just took it and went home and cried.
The bullying continued throughout sixth grade and into 7th
grade. Finally, after several episodes of sexual harassment
toward others, the student was removed from our school. Maybe
if I had stood my ground against him others would not have
been hurt. My fear of breaking the rules was greater than
my fear of him.
Many times the teachers don’t
see or hear what happens until the victim strikes back because
the bullies are so good at flying under the radar. The school
officials in Gray’s case say bullying is not tolerated.
I believe that is the case, in theory, but because most adults—administrators,
teachers, and parents—are at a loss for how to stop it,
the bullying continues. Until it goes too far.
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