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It is not easy to be completely honest about
yourself when writing things that you know will be viewed
by others, but I will do my best to portray myself in the
most truthful manner. It is quite ironic
how seemingly innocent people can be the most vicious bullies
when provoked, or even - when not provoked. I was one of those
"innocent" people, along with the other eighth graders
of school bus Number Four: Myself, Lori, Joel, Tom, Danny,
Mitchell, Sam and Kathleen. All eight of us had a lot in common
- we attended the same elementary school, thus knowing each
other very well; we also all lived in the same type of neighborhoods,
making our social standings in the town about the same. We
came from normal families that never really struggled with
anything; we all were exceptional students, in the higher
level courses of our middle school. Despite our vast common
ground, every single one of us managed to make enemies within
the group. The alliances always fluctuated.
One instance that I recall with immense
ease is when the school year of 2004 had just rolled around.
As usual the morning and afternoon bus rides always consisted
of nasty comments that stretched the limits of teasing and
cruelty, but this time, that limit had been surpassed with
no remorseful thoughts. On the afternoon route, Joel and Kathleen
were the first to be dropped off. At this time, the current
standing for alliances was brutal: The majority of the group
was against Joel. To be forthright and blatantly honest, Joel
was not the skinniest boy, or good looking, for that matter.
In seventh grade, Lori and I had done this after school cross
country program, where we would try our best to get in shape.
Joel had joined this group, and did his best to keep pace,
to shed his unneeded extra weight. He always managed to hold
the group back, and from then on, in both my eyes and Lori's,
Joel was just the lazy, fat kid. But to our bus, that was
common knowledge.
Since Joel was not exactly the most popular
boy on our bus, even some of the seventh graders picked on
him. As he was exiting the bus, the words "Joellie Ollie!"
was sung out loud by one of the seventh graders, making a
reference to the chubby Disney character from the show "Rollie
Pollie Ollie". From that point on, whenever Joel was
making entering or leaving our bus, the theme song of that
show would be sung out by all of the bus' occupants, with
of course, a few changes with the song. "Joellie Ollie
Pollie! He's big and round and fat..." He took the jabs
with good humor, or he seemed to. The fact that he had made
an effort in seventh grade to lose weight, showed that he
was insecure with his size. But he hid his emotions and laughed,
as almost all of us did whenever we were being targeted. Then
again, I wasn't really picked on last year, for I was one
of the "bigger" bullies. I wasn't the ringleader
(although I was high up) - that was Lori and Tom. They led
the pack, decided who the next playful victims would be. Once
Lori and I got into a dispute, and she pinned the group on
me, telling Tom that I had a secret crush on him, even though
I didn't.
The next day on the afternoon route, Tom
came over to my seat and was holding his backpack in his arms,
making kissing sounds... and the sexual innuendos progressed,
or, digressed - however you would want to look at it. It was
only later that I found out that Lori had told him to do that
to humiliate me. I didn't know what was going on, but I realized
that my group had betrayed me that day. It stung me to realize
that I truly had no alliances within that group, and I knew
that I would have just as easily done the same to Lori, or
anybody else, and plant the group on him or her without any
backwards thoughts. Even though I was hurt by this experience,
and I knew that it was bad and horrible to do such a thing,
I continued the torment, always telling myself everything
was in good nature. We all convinced ourselves that we were
just funny people with a sick sense of humor. The thing that
shocks me and disgusts me, as I look back at my past, is that
last year, our middle school was making an enormous emphasis
on bullying. "Bullying is bad, for the insecure people."
What shocks me even more is that we never got caught. To prevent
further bullying instances from happening once more, I believe
that the society should place a bigger emphasis on bullies
and the hurt that they precipitate, and how people try to
shrug off that pain and hide it with their own nasty remarks...
almost like Newton's law of, "For every action, there
is an equal and opposite reaction."
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